By the Valar!
by PINKSUCKS
Summary: Picture this: you die, wake up in ME, one of the Valar is in your head-the only way to seperate is to destroy the ring. Now picture Jordan, 5'4 red head with the ability to trip over her own feet. Still got hope? didn't think so.


Disclaimer: me no own none of JR Tolkien works…

Key:

Blah: Narrator talking

_Blah: _Narrator thinking

'_Blah': Varda speaking from inside her head or Manwe speaking_

Chapter One: Manwe+Varda+Elves+Big trees=

My name is Jordan, yes I am a girl. And yes I hate my name.

Anyways, I'm just your average young adult. Twenty years old, sleeping in a one room apartment, and living off the bare necessities. Ramen, water, and a copy of almost all of the books written by JR Tolkien. Yes, I am a fan, and yes I do make fun of Mary-sue's. When I have a chance to go to the library and use their computer that is.

So here I am, a half an hour early for my English class because my crappy alarm clock was hour ahead, thinking idly that I should be studying for the test today…but like always I just couldn't look away from the book I was reading. It was my favorite of JR Tolkien's, the Simirillian, and I'd probably read it about 20 times already. Then again the first 10 was just too actually UNDERSTAND the stupid thing…

Anyway I was reading the section on Varda, my favorite of all the Ainur…oh and for all of you who aren't really into any of the other books, and just like LOTR, I'll explain. The Ainur are like archangels, they're the Eru's first creations and later known as the 'Valar' when they group together against Melkor(AKA Morgoth-who's kinda like Satan, while Melkor is like Lucifer). Melkor used to be an Ainu (this is when he's like Lucifer) but he got power hungry and went evil (became Satan). But they did destroy him (temporarily) with the help of one of the strongest Ainur, named Manwe.

That's where my super awesome favorite character comes in, as she's the wife of Manwe, known as Varda in Quenya. In Sindarin (if you're wondering) she's called Elbereth Gilthoniel, you LOTR people should recognize it, as it's in one of the largest portions of Sindarin in the book (called A Elbereth Gilthoniel).

Why do I like her, you ask? Well…I don't know why. I just always have, it's like I can relate to her somehow. I mean not in the whole 'to beautiful for words' way, or 'the light of lluvatar (god) shines through her face' way, but in the 'I feel like we'd get along' way. I know weird right?

People were coming in now, so I had to put my book down, which got me in a bad mood for the rest of the class…but when I got outside the sun cheered me up. Now, singing my own little tune to the hymn 'A Elbereth Gilthoniel,' I headed to the bank to deposit my newly acquired money. That right there was the biggest mistake I'd made in my life…or the best I really think about it…but then my head starts hurting and I have to stop.

AELBERETHGILTHONIEL! AELBERETHGILTHONIEL! AELBERETHGILTHONIEL!

When I woke up all I saw was white and black, and it took awhile for me to realize they were stars. When I did, it took even longer for me see I was floating, but then it sped up. And suddenly I wasn't floating anymore; in fact I was falling, fast. A scream ripped through my throat, but I couldn't hear it, all that came out was silence.

It was like one of those cheesy fics were the main character has a vivid dream and wakes up screaming. That's it, I'm sure I'll just wake up, finding that I'd fell asleep in my little armchair while reading 'Children of Hurin.'

But I knew I was wrong as the memories from the bank came back. The screaming, the gun pressed to my head, and in turn to his (the sucker). The police came in; they broke my concentration, made me look towards the door. I shouldn't have done that, for as soon as I looked he pulled the trigger. Stupid cops, I was just about to make myself a hero. I'd even grabbed the gun from the dead security officer! You know how much courage it took to do that!? I hope they catch the motherfu-

And back to screaming.

The stars began to mold together I noticed, blending and merging until it formed pictures. Pictures I recognized, but from where? I focused on them, instead of the falling, trying to postpone the inevitable. Stupid me.

_Wait, was I falling up or down? If I was falling down was I going to hell?_ I shook that thought away.

_Don't think about it, just think about the pictures. Where did they come from, why are they familiar?_

And then the pictures began to change, until I couldn't recognize them at all, and I had nothing to focus on except the warm hand holding me up.

_Wait, hand?_

I looked up, seeing the ethereal glow of light, and I was blinded. The pictures had stopped, everything had stopped. I felt weightless, like I could do anything, but then I plummeted again but without the screaming. Thankfully, I think the gunman blew my ear drums…maybe that's why I couldn't hear myself screaming? Was I even screaming anymore?

Then, I don't know what triggered it, but I suddenly remembered where I'd seen those pictures…

_They were from textbooks! _My mind shouted, _Alexander the great, Queen Elizabeth, mother Theresa…_

I realized the pictures kept going back and back, farther and farther…was it possible I was going back in time? Then I realized I'd stopped falling again and looked around, it was different tha the swirling stars from before. This time I was actually standing, yes, on a floor! I nearly dropped down and kissed it, and would have it I hadn't seen that same ethereal glow coming from the window.

I looked away this time, not to keen on getting blinded again, and instead inspected my surroundings. They weren't much more interesting than the floor, same blinding white, except one of the walls had a door, another had a window, and in the center of the room was the light. Oh, shoot I wasn't supposed to look that way…

I stared at the being, eyes now used to the blinding light, and walked to it. I couldn't control myself; I was like a yoyo being pulled back by a string…I wish I had a yoyo right now…ANYWAY

I found myself in front of it, neither looking out of my own eyes nor looking down on the scene, and reached a hand up to the face. Pale fingers touched burning white, and the static brightness began to melt away, a man in its place.

In front of me was a face so beautiful it almost hurt to look at it, a face filled with a love so old and sad I almost cried. As I looked at it I felt something change, felt something awaken inside of me…and then meld with me. The thing took over my words and my actions, this ancient feeling spreading even further…to my heart.

"Manwe…" it was just a whisper, but it did the job, and he began to speak.

'_you can't stay here long, you have to cross over, or you'll never be able to reincarnate…'_ his voice was smooth, but deepened and cracked with a sadness past my ages.

Apparently it wasn't past the ages of the 'thing' inside me, as soon that same sadness hit me. It took my breath away, but not the 'things.'

I was trapped here, with these emotions that weren't mine and at the same time were. They melded further into me, while all I wanted to do was rip them out and throw them through that window. Or throw myself out of it. Whatever I could do to get away from these alien emotions, so overwhelming in my fragile state. I'd just died and now this? I think I'd rather be dead, thank you, than feel such a terrible pain as this.

How did my mom deal with this heartbreak after dad left? Oh yeah, she went to the gym with me and punched the shit out of her sparring partner. Which happened to be me by the way, but I didn't blame her, she was angry and sad and…pretty much what I was feeling right now.

Unfortunately, I wasn't at the gym (nor do I think I could get to it from here) and I certainly didn't have a sparring partner.

I nodded, or the 'thing' did, when he told me I should hurry. The pain came back as I turned to the door, not looking back or hesitating as I opened it.

What came next hit me hard, the stars, the feeling, really it was just everything all over again. I'd just gotten used to being on the ground again, damn it!

AELBERETHGILTHONIEL! AELBERETHGILTHONIEL! AELBERETHGILTHONIEL!

The first thing I noticed when I woke up was that the 'thing' had relinquished its hold on me. I flexed, glad that I had control of my body again, then just lay in the sun and smiled. This must be heaven, as the air was so much cleaner than the smog filled ones back in New York. And the sun, I hadn't felt something so warm since I went to visit my mom over winter break. I didn't have a heater, and the University only had to keep the temperature at 65. I reached out, feeling my surroundings, and opened my eyes. Then came the sky, the big a$$ trees, and…elves?! I stared, and stared, and then just cause I like odd numbers, I stared a third time. Then being the girl that I can sometimes be (other times I can be the exact opposite) I fainted.

AELBERETHGILTHONIEL! AELBERETHGILTHONIEL! AELBERETHGILTHONIEL!

This didn't last long, and I soon woke to find that I…wasn't actually awake. Instead I was in a garden, filled with the most beautiful plants I'd never seen, and colors I'd never seen so potent in flowers. Vines and huge, huge trees that gave off a life giving shine and leaves above me creating a canopy that only let in enough sun to keep the landscape beautiful, birds with calls that sounded impossible to copy sang in distance.

I walked cautiously, curious but overcome with stress at my 'death' and only a 'little' afraid of what was happening. I stopped in a large clearing, the forest floor covered in the lush green moss, as was everything else. It was an environmentalists' dream come true.

Had I not been so fascinated by the beauty of the place I would've noticed the person in the center of the clearing. So much for 'cautious.'

I stood frozen as my eyes finally met the ones of the woman in front of me. She looked identical to me, only so much better. She was the epitome of my 'princess' fantasies as a kid, with that long silky red hair and glowing skin, devoid of any freckles (unlike mine), with eyes such a beautiful sea green and a smile to kill all smiles…she was beautiful beyond words. I would say she was a Mary-sue, but that would be insulting her, as if she could ever be as ugly as a MS. Plus, as far as I know, she wasn't trying to take over ME or seduce any of the LOTR characters…yet.

I stared on in awe at the enhanced features; she was like a goddess, sitting there in all her glowing glory, and when she finally looked at me, her face shown of surprise.

"Oh, here already?"She said in that sweet melodic voice that seemed like it had been singing the songs of Ainur for ages. It probably had.

I didn't say anything, just stared as she rose elegantly and walked towards me. Towards ME!

"Oh! Ah-um…" I stuttered and looked away, trying to regain my mind before I was turned into a blubbering heap of Jell-O. I mean I'm not gay or anything, but…damn! Anyone would think she was beautiful; it was like looking at one of the Valar…wait…

…HOLY #$#!! She IS one of the Valar! It all makes sense, why Manwe was there, and the elves, why she's reincarnated in me…no, wait that one doesn't make sense…

"Listen to me" she said calming my frantic pointing blubbering, AKA making a fool out of myself in front of one of the Valar. One of the Valar, I still can't believe I'm TALKING to one of the VALAR!

"You're here for a reason," she said slowly, trying to go easy on my mush of a brain, "and if you follow what I say, this should be over before you know it."

I nodded enthusiastically, but then stopped. "What do you mean 'over?' Will I be able to go back to my old life?" oh, please let her nod, please let her nod…

She looked away. Crap, this isn't good.

"no, when you died you were just an ordinary person; we didn't have any purpose to bring you back. Now it's too late." She sighed.

I grimaced, she must mean 'bring back' like they did with Gandalf. "So if you didn't have a reason back then, why do you have one now?"

I really hope it wasn't something totally stupid, like 'the fellowship needs you' or some dump crap like that. Then I'd be a Mary-sue…ugh I think I'd probably go jump off a cliff if that were the case.

"What I'm going to tell you next may be a little shocking," she looked at me for confirmation to continue, and I nodded. She didn't need my nod though; I'd listen to anything she says, even if it was how to gut a deer. She's one of the Valar for Eru's sake!

"By the time you had died, back in this time I had shared the same fate. And well, the only way for me to return to the Valar would for me to be reincarnated, and win Eru's favor. Then perhaps he'd welcome me back to my former body. Until then you will have to be my vessel, it is only unfortunate that we found you after you had died. I'm afraid we've taken you're chance at what you mortals call 'heaven.'"

I nodded, almost used to the surprises that kept peaking around the sharp corners of my maze…now, where's the cheese? Where's my favor in this?

She put a hand on my shoulder, "the only way we could bring you back, is to bring you here, to our own time. Centuries before your life, more than centuries really."

I blinked.

"So…where or when am I then?" she looked surprised again.

"From what I've heard, you have much written on this time period, I'm surprised you don't yet know where you are. Hmmm…I believe most of the books are written by a JR Tolkien? I don't know how he got the information but-"

Her voice drifted from my ears, as I pieced it all together.

Manwe+Varda+Elves+big a$$ trees=

I was almost afraid to answer my own equation.

"-so, yes, you are in Middle-Earth, Arda, whatever you wish to call it." She smiled…and I fainted.

I'd found my cheese.

A/N: yeah, it's a little short, but they'll get longer, promise. If you review any way.

So, what do you think? Should I continue? PLEASE REVIEW!


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